Tag Archives: San Francisco

Here is a list of my favourite toons

ONE OF my readers – yeah OK, there’s only one anyway, has asked me for a list of my favourite toons, so I thought I’d take time out to oblige him.

In order, and as I write, they are Aberdeen, Scotland – the place where I was born. Florence, Italy – the place where you can never get a beer, just an ice cream. London, Engerland – which is somehow never boring but always quite dull. Muenchen, which is always awake, even for 24 hours a day and you can always get a drink.

Paris, where the waiters love you if you’ve even a smidgeon of colloquial French. Next up is Barcelona, where you always feel like you’re on the edge between reality and dreams. New York is never dull, but somehow never awake. San Francisco has taken me to its heart – goodness knows why. It’s about the size of Aberdeen but with up-hill and down-hill slopes that make Google Maps risible.

Is that 10 yet? Here’s the list so far.

And here are my 10 least favourite toons.

  • Roma, because it is totally inaccessible
  • Reykjavik, because it’s so predictable you’ll see volcanoes and it will be cold
  • Belfast, Ulster, because you never know what you are supposed to be
  • Manchester, because it’s a shambles
  • Halifax, Yorkshire – because it is part of the Cleckshuddersfax triangle
  • Miami, because it’s a bit of a shambles too
  • Berlin, it gets really cold there
  • Hangover (Hannover) because it is the home of hateful CeBIT
  • Wankum, ‘cos I never want to go there
  • Boston, ‘cos I met so many snotty people there with funny voices

totalwankumOf course the lists can be added to and subtracted from. But these are a few of my favourite things.

Zeppelin spotted on 43rd Wave, San Francisco

CURIOUS THINGS were in the air in San Francisco on Sunday.  A large Zeppelin cruised over the houses on the way down to the ocean. 

zeppelin

Stranger things were to follow. Just close to Golden Gate Park,  we spotted some mysterious Dakini writing inside a glass of beer. What can this all mean? [Too many beers? Ed.]  ♣ 

dakini

Pariah don’t carey in Ole San Fran

MANY OF the literate readers of this bogette will have heard of Typhoid Mary. Here, in San Francisco, they are so worried infections might spread that the city has turned that fear into a cult, seems to me.

As this picture testifies. Infect me not is a strange piece of syntax, but virii don’t listen to humans’ virtuous tones, nor to the imperative tense, so we suspect if there is a huge influenza pandemic, there will be little to do except grit your teeth and deck a bottle or three of the finest Indian single malt.

pariah

Ibahn puzzled at lack of Intel connection

HOW STRANGE life can be. We were listening to Intel geezers and geezerettes “keynoting” in the Marriott today, and noticed that we had a total lack of what is apparently called connectivity.

I chatted to an Intel lass. She summoned an Intel technician from the vastness that is the Marriott, who checked out this Panasonic PC and tried everything I’d already tried.

The Intel technician then summoned two Ibahn engineers from the vastness of San Francisco, and they puzzled over the enigma that was my non connection.

Nonplussed, they all shook their heads and clucked like plumbers but couldn’t find anything on my laptop that would prevent me connecting. I had tried everything before they tried.

Andy Grove, he said, only the paranoid survive. Could it be that perhaps any PC that belongs to yours truly is blocked from Internet access at an Intel gig? Surely not?

Indian Independence Day means work for most

TODAY IS Indian Independence Day, marked in most cities in India by formal celebrations.

But while the banks, the civil servants and the fortunate have the day off, and so a long weekend, life here in Bengaluru seems to be throbbing normally. A quick walk down 100 Feet Road demonstrated that this afternoon. And crossing the 100 Feet was as fraught as any normal day in India.

At the Examiner, the hacks have today off, so the site is being kept up to date by yours truly and the assorted stringers we have. I’m packing, ready to fry out to San Francisco for the Intel Developer Forum in San Francisco, so quaffing my last Haywards 5000 for about a week before I return to Bengaluru.

I’ll be close to 12 hours behind my Indian hacks next week, so will be dislocated in time, space and culture. I will also be competing to some extent against the previous two plaices – the INQUIRER and The Register. I am sure to meet Charlie Demerjian and some other old pals.

See you on the other side of the bigger Pacific pond!

Examiner to compete with INQster, Rogister@Intel

I FRY OUT of Ole Bengaluru tomorrow, via Singapore, to the Intel Developer Forum (IDF) which is being held next week at the Moscone, a beggar of a place.

It will be a long fright, but I am up against the challenge to end all challenges. I will be competing with three or possibly four hacks from the INQster to bring news from IDF to our global readership.

Goodness knows how many Rogister people will be there. That rag is now, thankfully,  a very distant memory of 14 years ago. The INQ has whitewashed me out of existence. So has the Rogister. I don’t mind, ‘cos Wikipedia continues to tell its own version of history.

I sold my shares in the Reg back to an adsales geezer, flogged the INQster to VNU, and seem to have generated loads of jobs in the process. It was something of a coup hiring Paul Hales at the INQster to work for VNU again, we’re sure you will agree.

In America, I will be 11 and a half hours behind Ole Bengaluru. My loyal team of hacks in India will no doubt pick up the slack and deliver stories to the world that the INQster and the ROGster can only dream about, the little bunnies that they both are.

Lest you think I am in the slightest bit bitter about the Register and the INQUIRER, I’m not. Far from it.  I am satisfied at a good job well done. And I am looking forward to challenging them both at IDF! 

ATI party had “talking heads”

THE RECENT ATI gig in Old California must have been quite an affair. A megageek writes to tell us that at the cocktail party held there, he was in conversation with some other geek about shaders and the like, when an attractive Berkeley student tipped up.

Apparently she, like many another, had been engaged by ATI’s PR to engage in social intercourse with the media. The megageek was annoyed, seeing as he was engrossed in social intercourse with another geek about shaders and the like.

The conversation turned to San Francisco and the subject of skiing came up, as well as chit chat about the town and that.

This event bears all the hallmarks of former, now current AMD spinner Chris Hook, from Canadaland. Former readers of the INQster will recall not only that Charlie Demerjian attended his wedding, but that when he was based in Europe he caused Mike Magee to fall off his stool at a Hampstead hostelry.

We haven’t heard from Chris since he found himself drafted back to North America. But it does sound as if he still has a flair for party PR, by all accounts.

What’s happened to Silicon Limey?

HERE BE A BOG called Silicon Limey, written by a geezer who is headed over to San Francisco to work as an ex-pat, in much the same way, we guess, we’ll be doing out in Bengaluru in a week or so.

The pic he runs doesn’t do me many favours. It was taken in Ole Taipei. I didn’t suffer a massive heart attack, thank goodness. Only the tiniest bit of my heart was affected, and I had a triple, not a quadruple bypass.

Nor did I start quaffing endless pints and smoking Marlboro Reds as if there was no tomorrow.  I don’t know what he means about my unstable hands either – sheesh, I could tell a story or two about him if pixels were free. Like, for example, if he was slumped with his head on top of a keyboard, wouldn’t it be beeping like crazy? Is he Silicon Limey, or Silicon Cor Blimey?

But the slowly burning question of the day persists. Is he now in San Francisco? Will he be able to find a decent cup of tea over there?  Has he got adequate medicare? Can we find a recent photograph of him in our digital portfolios?  ♥