Tag Archives: nicotine

Let us acclaim the successful potato

BELIEVE IT or believe it not, there used to be a title published by Reed called the Successful Potato.

Of course the ultimate successful potato has got to be the King Edward – a royal potato in every way. I am sure that when Sir Walter Raleigh – executed later by Queen Elizabeth I James I* – brought back a potato and a tomato and tobacco and a chili from the Americas, it was not a King Edward.

What a versatile creature the potato is – you can mash it, fry it, boil it, chip it, french fry it, bake it and roast it.

OK, King Edward is related to the Lucrezia Borgia of the genus, Deadly Nightshade. But his Brittanic Majesty is also related to capsicums and nicotines. What a versatile family!

The edible starchy tuber has, of course, many varieties apart from the King.

There is of course his consort, the Charlotte. And his mistress, Desiree. There’s Nicola whoever she is, and there’s Jersey Royals – the princelings of potato-hood. The Saxon variety is related to the House of Hangover, based in Hannover, which at one time by default became the right royal owners of England.

We’d be interested to know if there was a Republican variety of potato, one that organised the Boston Potato Party, and threw Edward, the Saxons and the Princelings into the drink. But we guess we’ll never find out.

* oops. Fixed SNAFU

Perfect anti-smoking device unveiled

WHAT BETTER thing to stop people smoking than a smoking car? This thing was also spotted on oodge Street today. It drove off in several puffs of smoke just after we snapped it. Is this kind of car sustainable? κ


Eastern Europeans go nuts at Intel@sanfrancisco

IT IS THE MARRIOTT where most of the journalists at the Intel Developer Forum are staying.

Those include Eastern European journos, who are not used to being in hotel rooms where you can’t smoke under a penalty of $250 a day.

One of said hacks explained to me this morning how he satisfied his nicotine cravings. He went behind the desk, opened the window the tiniest bit, and puffed his smoke out of that crack.

What a palaver! Don’t these people realise that if you are a nicotine addict you can buy a small device, bung a nicotine capsule into it, and inhale with the drug satisfying even the most desperate cravings? You can buy these devices at Boots the Chemist in London, for about six quid. Many capsules are included in this price, and a packet of fags costs about six quid anyway.

They don’t smell of smoke, and you don’t face the risk of paying a $250 fine per day for contaminating the sacred Marriott chain of hotels.

We will see tomorrow if the first levy of $250 has been inflicted on the hacks in pain.