BELIEVE IT or believe it not, there used to be a title published by Reed called the Successful Potato.
Of course the ultimate successful potato has got to be the King Edward – a royal potato in every way. I am sure that when Sir Walter Raleigh – executed later by Queen Elizabeth I James I* – brought back a potato and a tomato and tobacco and a chili from the Americas, it was not a King Edward.
What a versatile creature the potato is – you can mash it, fry it, boil it, chip it, french fry it, bake it and roast it.
OK, King Edward is related to the Lucrezia Borgia of the genus, Deadly Nightshade. But his Brittanic Majesty is also related to capsicums and nicotines. What a versatile family!
The edible starchy tuber has, of course, many varieties apart from the King.
There is of course his consort, the Charlotte. And his mistress, Desiree. There’s Nicola whoever she is, and there’s Jersey Royals – the princelings of potato-hood. The Saxon variety is related to the House of Hangover, based in Hannover, which at one time by default became the right royal owners of England.
We’d be interested to know if there was a Republican variety of potato, one that organised the Boston Potato Party, and threw Edward, the Saxons and the Princelings into the drink. But we guess we’ll never find out.
* oops. Fixed SNAFU
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Tagged Boston Potato Party, Chili, chitting, Deadly Nightshade, Hangover, Hannover, Lucrezia Borgia, nicotine, potato, Prince Edward, Princelings, Sir Walter Raleigh
ONE OF my readers – yeah OK, there’s only one anyway, has asked me for a list of my favourite toons, so I thought I’d take time out to oblige him.
In order, and as I write, they are Aberdeen, Scotland – the place where I was born. Florence, Italy – the place where you can never get a beer, just an ice cream. London, Engerland – which is somehow never boring but always quite dull. Muenchen, which is always awake, even for 24 hours a day and you can always get a drink.
Paris, where the waiters love you if you’ve even a smidgeon of colloquial French. Next up is Barcelona, where you always feel like you’re on the edge between reality and dreams. New York is never dull, but somehow never awake. San Francisco has taken me to its heart – goodness knows why. It’s about the size of Aberdeen but with up-hill and down-hill slopes that make Google Maps risible.
Is that 10 yet? Here’s the list so far.
And here are my 10 least favourite toons.
- Roma, because it is totally inaccessible
- Reykjavik, because it’s so predictable you’ll see volcanoes and it will be cold
- Belfast, Ulster, because you never know what you are supposed to be
- Manchester, because it’s a shambles
- Halifax, Yorkshire – because it is part of the Cleckshuddersfax triangle
- Miami, because it’s a bit of a shambles too
- Berlin, it gets really cold there
- Hangover (Hannover) because it is the home of hateful CeBIT
- Wankum, ‘cos I never want to go there
- Boston, ‘cos I met so many snotty people there with funny voices
Of course the lists can be added to and subtracted from. But these are a few of my favourite things. ♦
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Tagged Aberdeen, Bali, Barcelona, Belgium, Berlin, Bostonm Massachussetts, Brussels, Catalonia, Cleckhuddersfax, Denpasar, Florence, France, Halifax, Hangover, Hannover, Indonesia, Londinium, London, Manchester, Miami, Muenchen, Munich, New York, Paris, Roma, Rome, San Francisco, Spain, Wankum, yorkshire