Tag Archives: cognac

Mike Magee’s top 10 cocktails of all time

Numbers 1, 2 and 3 in the cocktail olympicsRUPERT GOODWINS has inspired me to compile a list of my top 10 cocktails.  I provide the list below, along with the rational reasons and the sub text…. ♦

1. Gin and Tonic
Rationalisation: So refreshing, The gin eases the pain inflicted by the   mozzies, while tonic has quinine so I won’t die in service in this damn place, god damn you sir!
Real Reason: I’ve got an alcohol habit.

2. Vodka & Orange (scroogedriver)
Rationalisation:  I love to get my five a day fruits and five a day cheap vodka coupled with cheap orange juice just makes my daze!
Real Reason:  I am a cheap bastard and just want to get pissed as a fart for practically nothing.

3. Cognac
Rationalisation:  At 6AM in the morning, there is nothing more civilized than starting the day with the finest cognac that money can buy.
Real Reason: The “gentleman” is hoping that having a large cognac first thing in the morning will help him to forget the embarrassment he obviously created last night and that he couldn’t, for some reason, remember.

4. Whisky
Rationalisation: “As a true bred Scotsman I know for a fact that our “water of life” eases most pains in life and is also, I heard, called the alkahest” – Jock McFrock, the bekuilted engineer
Real Reason: He’s on mushrooms

5.  Margarita
Rationalisation:  “I started to like and love this cocktail when I met a lovely lady in a bar in Old Taipei and she was called Margarita,” An ex-pat in Taiwan.
Real Reason:  He is a recovering alcoholic.

6. Bloody Mary
Rationalisation: “The celery does me good,” conference attendee
Real Reason: Alcoholics foolishly believe that the tomatoes and celery will help them achieve their famous “five a daze”

7.  Beach Boogle Goggle Google Egboddle
Rationalisation: “It is a fact, universally known, that better code is written when you’re not drunk as a skunk,”  Dick Pick
Real Reason: “He is buying his drugs from Jock McFrock, and they’re not working”

8. Whisky Mac
Rationalisation: Och I have a really terRRRible cold, and a snifter of a whisky mac would not only provide me with the ginger I need for my RNA but prevent my nose being sore!
Real Reason:  He hasnae got a cold at all.  He’s a Campbell, nae a Mac!

9.  Strega (only a cocktail in certain parts of Italia)
Rationalisation: “I have had a lovely time being a guest at your wedding. I say, do you know a good liqueur as a night cap?
Real Reason: He is trying to pick the bar lady up, and mentioning an obscure liqueur of the region to impress her. He is a prat.

10. Rhum Plantations de St James (Martinique)
Rationalisation: “And they said I couldn’t get a drink in Marrakesh,” conference attendee
Real Reason: He refused to smoke dope, pick up a boy or a girl, but where there is a will, there is away. So there is a way…