THE OXFORD MAIL which I’ve started to read because I live here in the watery city, has been running some really great stuff about Oxford City Council. Forget Kate Middleton, she is a never was.
It is all about toilets. According to this report on the OxMail, people flock to have a wee in Oxford from around the world. John Tanner said: “It is an international toilet,” he added. “People come from all over the world to use the Gloucester Green toilets and I think they look a bit dreary.” We dunno if Kate Middleton used the bogs on Monday when she visited a school here in Ox, but, somehow, we doubt it.
This produced some lovely responses from locals, according to today’s OxMail (42 pence, well worth it). Oxford is going to spend millions on the bogs and no doubt people desperate for a wee will welcome the fact that the current bogs shut at 9PM, sharp. And stink. ♣
50p for the privy?? Why they ought to at least let a bloke swipe for the change. Fine guvnor. Have it your way. £420,000 ought to buy China bowls with touchless flush sensors like they use Kohler in the states. Xlerator hand dryers to boot will dry the hands in 15 seconds. They may even dry boots quicker. The pee-pee dance you see! Last call, gentlemen! Hurry time is wee!
We’re off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oxfordz.
You’ll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! there wuz. He wuz.
If ever oh ever a Wiz! there wuz The Wizard of Oxfordz is one becuz,
becuz, becuz, becuz, becuz, becuz,
becuz of the wonderful fitty pence he chuz
whoever said it wuz free to wee wee wee?
Not me not me not me.
Um jus whistlin dixie.