News of the Screws sells out in Oxford

THEY SHOULD SHUT it every week was the verdict in Oxford, cultural world centre and home to the Screaming Squires, today.

We conducted a straw poll of newsagents in Oxford and came up with very surprising results. One newsagent told Volesoft that its copies of the News of the World had sold out by 10:30AM, Sunday. We asked him if that had been followed by rapid sales of The People – the competition to the News of the World. “No,” he said.

In a more literary part of Oxford we asked the same question. The newsagent said: “You can’t get it for love or money”. All rather surprising, because News International doubled the print run last night in anticipation of the News of the Screws final edition becoming a collector’s item.

“We’re looking forward to other revelations from other newspapers using similar methods,” another newsagent said. “Before we know where we are, we’ll find ourselves selling milk to students and no magazines whatever.”

And there’s another thing. The imaginary Inspector Morse, created by Colin Dexter, also read his copies of the NOTW surreptitiously, in case his local newsagent thought the worse of him for not reading the “quality newspapers”. ♥

One response to “News of the Screws sells out in Oxford

  1. thomasxstewart

    Rupert Always been Friend, Last Time Saw rupert was at Fort McDowell In 1994. Not Outspoken, yet News is Crop of BullTards. Hounds People. Writes Terrible, Dasdardly Stories About Lives of Influance & Will Not ACcept responiblility. Not above Publishing HRM Tampon, News Is Bad Enough, Rupert Just MakesIt All So Much Worse.
    Rupert Is Gone, Long Live FREE Press….
    cornering rupert lezves thousands of young journalist to live.

    Signed:HRM THOMAS STEWART von DRASHEK M.D.

    Like

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