Let us acclaim the successful potato

BELIEVE IT or believe it not, there used to be a title published by Reed called the Successful Potato.

Of course the ultimate successful potato has got to be the King Edward – a royal potato in every way. I am sure that when Sir Walter Raleigh – executed later by Queen Elizabeth I James I* – brought back a potato and a tomato and tobacco and a chili from the Americas, it was not a King Edward.

What a versatile creature the potato is – you can mash it, fry it, boil it, chip it, french fry it, bake it and roast it.

OK, King Edward is related to the Lucrezia Borgia of the genus, Deadly Nightshade. But his Brittanic Majesty is also related to capsicums and nicotines. What a versatile family!

The edible starchy tuber has, of course, many varieties apart from the King.

There is of course his consort, the Charlotte. And his mistress, Desiree. There’s Nicola whoever she is, and there’s Jersey Royals – the princelings of potato-hood. The Saxon variety is related to the House of Hangover, based in Hannover, which at one time by default became the right royal owners of England.

We’d be interested to know if there was a Republican variety of potato, one that organised the Boston Potato Party, and threw Edward, the Saxons and the Princelings into the drink. But we guess we’ll never find out.

* oops. Fixed SNAFU

5 responses to “Let us acclaim the successful potato

  1. The eyes have it Frenched! It’s Frite Nite; no need to sugar coat it; it’s over my tuber, and mashed into the drink. A simple way to plant entrees in the root zone. Stor in a potato bank or house to use tater: keep handy in your merkin.

    We would be interested to know if there was a Tweet variety of potato.

    “Too many twits might make a twat”– ‘ow tweet is thaat? Innit Madonna’s erotic voicemail? ‘ow bitter-ender? I teeter to shudder.

    “I wanted to convey the idea that the people eating potatoes by the light of an oil lamp used the same hands with which they take food from the plate to work the land, that they have toiled with their hands—that they have earned their food by honest means.”
    “De Aardappeleters”- Van Gogh thought this piece was a failure.

    You can make electricity from a potato. They sell the kit on miniscience. Not the juice.

    All of this makes a potato vodka that has been distilled only once not only a rarity, but a game-changing oddity:

    A single spud, the demoralizing esculent, the Society for the Prevention of Unwholesome Diet, for Englishmen who did not fancy potatoes, or some other such esoteric eggplant, the aubergine, and not to be confused with the Aberdeen.

    Bon Appétit, no matter who the escalloped with. Gratin au goodness gracias! and Let the chips fall where they may.

  2. From “Stompin’ Tom” (The Very famous Canadian)

    Its’s Bud the Spud
    From the Bright Red Mud
    Coming down the highway smiling.

    The Spuds are big
    On the back of Bud’s Rig
    They’re from Price Edward Island

  3. thomasxstewart

    Karlsbad has become fluent.

    Potato Luarete & Chips. BTW Relatives whom owned dockyard in Prince Edward island, Pooles from Pooles Corner, where potatoe farmers & Ship Builders in late 1700s’, there.Migrating from Home Port of LiverPoole,England,U.K..

    iFamily, potato tom parker drashek

  4. Ignorant American

    “I am sure that when Sir Walter Raleigh – executed later by Queen Elizabeth I”

    Queen Elizabeth I died in 1603. Sir Walter Raleigh was executed in 1618.

    Just how did she pull that off?!

    — An ignorant American.

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