Daily Archives: March 27, 2008

Pilots outspoken about Terminal Five debacle, fiasco

SO WHAT is the professional pilots rumour board saying about the T5 debacle and fiasco?

 A lot, and it starts here.  As Rupert said, in a comment to something or other, this pilots’  site is “ever yielding”.  Compared to SNAFUs in Bengaluru and Hyderabad, this apparently is the mother of all screwups.

Some unkind soul is suggesting that the folks in charge “couldn’t find their own backsides with both hands and a torch”. An unusual metaphor. She, he or it must be from down under.

Another cruelly says: “The problem is that this bunch of wankers have NEVER in decades been able to run the airport as an airport !! As a shopping mall, well, that’s another kettle of fish entirely…….”

Do they serve fish at LHR? Maybe Gordon Ramsay does, who knows? As an “airport user” who lives 30 minutes from Heathrow, LHR is my least favourite airport in the London area. Wish Manston Airport would do transcontinental frights…. Heathrow should have been left as an apple orchard, in ‘Arrow, where I currently live, there are still varieties of apples which could contribute to the overall “gene pool”. LHR contributes nothing to life but stress – Heathrow needs a psychotherapist, an aromatherapist and a psychiatrist. It’s a screwed up airport.

Next time I fly out to Bengaluru, it will be using Jet, methinks. As a Virgin lass said to me when I was flying back from Ole Mumbai, Jet knows how to treat its passengers right. Plus, unlike Virgin, when you land at Mumbai or Delhi you will have a Nanocar with a Jaguar engine to speed you to your destination. [Er, Tata doesn’t own Jet, Ed.] ♥

Terminal Five – it’s been good and it’s been awful

THE COMPUTERS ARE being blamed for a massive SNAFU which led to nothing working very well at BAA’s new Terminal Five, which opened today.

About 30 frights have been cancelled, but BA – nothing to do with BAA apparently – put up a terrified looking little guy 15 minutes ago to describe the problems as teething problems. His eyes darting from side to side, the young shaver said if you wanted to travel to Hong Kong tonight, you still could. But you’d have to tip up with hand baggage only.

We presume that if you’re short of knickers and shirts, you can go airside where you can buy any number of pieces of apparel from the vast shopping mall which has high street names such as Versace, Gucci and Harrods and munch on a burger from Gordon Ramsays joint – plain food.

It’s sort of a Ryanair idea then? Imagine if the finger print scheme had been implemented too. We still maintain Mumbai International is 40 times more efficient than ‘Effrow. Plus it has a smoking area in the bar, somewhat disgustingly unless you’re a drinker and a smoker, of course… ♣

BAA drops daft fingerprint idea