I NOTICED at the beginning of last week that two geezers attired in orange tops and dubbed “traffic managers” had set up shop outside Mick’s Café and the YHA at the end of my road.
What were they doing, I wondered? They just seem to stand around doing not very much at all and presumably getting paid for it.
The weather got a bit cold last week so I was amused to see that the guys – two of them, had been supplied with a garden shed (pictured) – but it is still entirely unclear what they do.
I picked up a copy of the daily Oxford Mail yesterday – it had the alarming splash that cyclists had lashed out against plans for Frideswide Square – “It will be a death trap”.
I asked a few local residents what the function of these two traffic managers and their hut was. We’re all a bit puzzled. We think that they’re there to arrest cyclists for not having lights and that. We’ll put in a freedom of information request. (Dhera Dun, Ed.)
Meanwhile, plans to build a three storey atrocity at the bottom of our gardens get appealed at Oxford Town Hall on March 7th at 9:30AM. We’ve seen workmen attired in radiation suits stalking around at the bottom of our garden in the last few weeks. Unfortunately, we’ll be at SnowBIT (CeBIT) – bit of an inconvenient time for working people, we’d suggest… maybe the traffic managers will tip up. We are sure that the winsome Nicola Blackwood, our very fragrant Tory MP, will make her representations and defend the residents from voracious developers. Sure as eggs is eggs, one of our two councillors is up for re-election this year. ♥
Shorely as ta’ Scotch eggs be Deviled! No doubt the workmen who are attired in radiation suits and International orange are not “traffic managers” at all, no, really, but in reality, they are the Cyclox themselves, and they are hell-bent on some fiendish plot to force the rest us to drive roundabout on the “right” side of the road. Perhaps they are the key figures in an ongoing government charade, a plot to conceal the truth about the co-existence of extraterrestrials, The Wall, and the fashionable jockey up of managing trust in Hannover Germany. It’s a global conspiracy, actually, with key players fitted out and positioned in the highest levels of power, who reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, child, and badger on this planet; so, of course, no one believes it. A whole generation of Cyclox to rule mankind with the help of the DFKI (German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence) subjugating everybody in the world until they too are as apathetic to any dictated maxim by the Dingus, as do, as are, the Americans – must be, shorely! It will be a death trap! But the sad part is__ err,…suss ‘n such et, (ahem) oh, nevermind.
Note to self: quit main-lining the coffee.